Anyone Important

By: Megan

“What does it feel like?” 

I ask myself at midnight, “to be loved and fully understood by someone.”

I have always been second best.

The thrifted version of perfection.

I never thought there would be a day where I could say that I was anyone important.

And I still wonder if it’s even possible.

My life was built on lies I was told.

A figment of reality and I laid watching it all unfold. 

I was never good enough to be proudly introduced.

Or smart enough for people to say “she’s going to go somewhere.”

I was just there.

I was not crying in self-pity, but instead crying in self-hatred.

I was not wrong.

How many times do people actually tell me they care?

Hell, how many times do they even act like they do?

I always thought it was me who was the problem.

I would never be anyone important to you.

But it’s not me,

It’s you, boo!

You are the one I’m too good for.

You are the one I am too smart for.

I will not lie here and constantly tell myself that I am the issue when I have been trying to comfort you.

I sat here all day while you came for me to fix you.

The only thing i need to fix is my perception because this is not how it should go.

I am the one who is always trying to act like everything is okay and it’s not.

All the while, you mope about not winning a game.

Well life must really suck for you

because it totally was not me who was damaged before the age of two,

Who needed help but the damage grew.

And now we are here without a damn clue.

All along it was not me, but instead you.

If you want me to be any clearer

I will never be anyone important to you 

And that’s all facts, boo.